These Little Piggies: Pony Express

Today i was pulling onto my street an saw the mailman jeep in front of my house, and thought to myself i should stop and harass the mail person...

~~~~~~picture a flash back ~~~~~~
evil mail person with horns passing our mailbox with the flag up

mail devil guy in fiery jeep piling mail in over our netflix movies we are trying to mail

disgruntled mail man in a lab coat laughing maniacally as he throws away our mail and gives us the wrong addressed mail

~~~~~fade back to present~~~~~~~~

This vendetta was more than personal now, it involved a box of Christmas gifts sent from the grandparents. About two weeks before Christmas husbands mom tells us, husbands dad sent off said Box.

*this was the first mistake... men should never be trusted in the post office

next week, no box... mom-in-law says dad-in-law sent it parcel post (see *) and it could take up to ten days. the next week still no box... mom-in-law call postmaster, says they are still running on Christmas eve

**second mistake... trusting usps

A few days after new years mother of husband calls her post office, and they tell her if the address was at all wrong they would not return it to sender... and since there was not insurance or delivery confirmation on the Box (see * & ** ) there was no way of finding it.

Husband decides to call our post office and they dont have a random box laying around anywheres, so he calls other post offices around us to check them, and he gets forwarded to the national hub, located in ~~~hell~~~ who told us to give up. So grudgingly we gave up. Up until last week we kept expecting it to just show up at the door, but it never did.

As i draw ever closer to my house, thinking of what profanity i should yell at the flesh eating mail zombie, i think its been at my drive way a long time. Then it drives away, and i forget about it completely (which would be how mailmen survive as long as they do)

I pull into my drive way put car in park and notice this...